Obituary…77 March 28, 2009
Posted by meehoon in jokes, talents.Tags: 7-up, bottle, cocacola, masturbation, men's health, obituary, peace, sex, singapore, sprite
1 comment so far
As requested by kuanyew…
We’ll start this by saying that the 1.5L bottle is unlucky to have to suck on the penis for so long; then that it is super lucky to have made it into the news; but damn lucky that he was able to pee after so long before he died; but then again kuanyew is lucky that I’ve gone through my elective posting and is now so free everyday thinking what to write here; so I humbly accept the task of writing an obituary for this 77 year old guy.
I’LL SAY MY PART FIRST – because a guy that respect himself will respect the other. So I think, “Afterall, I will become a doctor someday…and it is the time to start to show a little bit of empathy for the guy.” But I have heard stories saying that I am a guy who is verbally morally bankrupt. So, am I the right one you are looking for kuanyew?? Finding mee to write this obituary will be a disaster…
But I surprise myself at times too…
So, I did some homework…I searched that The Star and The Straits Times tell a different story. They say the 77 year old guy died because he tried to masturbate by using a soft drink bottle (it could be sprite/7-up, because the colour of the ejeculate is similar) but then the penis got stuck…so he paiseh to find doctor quickly (maybe he was afraid that he will get a doctor like mee that will laugh at him for 1 hour with “wakakaka” and then find kuanyew to take a pic of mee with him for another half an hour, then laugh at him again with “waheheheee” for another hour). So, he tried using soap as lubricant to take out his penis. But then he failed. Then he seeked medical assistance…inflammation set in..he cannot pee…he died…of heart failure…HEART FAILURE…
Maybe I found the wrong piece of news…but they both, if they are not the same person, were some of the best example of men in the world.
At the age of 77, they were so innovative in the sense that they try to flay a kite by using his penis as steering…or whatever OR tried to masturbate by using a bottle….Their sex drive were strong…SO THEY REPRESENT THAT ASIAN MEN ARE STRONG…we don’t need viagra!!
Imagine that the Kite Runner, they are flying kite using penises??
Sad thing is they failed to notice that their penises are actually bigger…I really hope the latter guy had an orgasm before he died for the last time.
In conjunction with Earth Hour today, I urge that all men will observe a silent minute for them before switching off the light for 60 minutes then masturbate during the duration, as I will announce that 28th March will be the official Masturbation Day (MD).
“60MD aka 60 EH”
I will try to mention this during the upcoming EAMSC 10′ with the theme of Men’s Health. They are the pride of South East Asia.
Meanwhile, as a respect…send something for them…
I will send those people who say that I am verbally morally bankrupt to them as respect, with them, please may you guys rest in peace. Why am I sending the guys these people? because I really don’t hope to see them turning to COCACOLA bottle at the age of 77…oh, old woman with expired COCACOLA bottle inside vagina?? sad sad sad….
I’m so so so sorry….I really think I am morally bankrupt…haha….I take back all my words…OMG, I AM A MORALLY BANKRUPT future doctor!! who will want to find me next time?? lolz..=D
I’ve tried to put in the least jokes possible as I have burried my coursemates with them today.
Hai… Accidents happen March 25, 2009
Posted by ripplingwillow in Uncategorized.2 comments
Eh meehoon… or meesuah…
Especially meesuah dun do this when you’re drunk ah.
Previously there were two separate incidents in Malaysia involving men inserting a nut and a ring onto their ‘crown jewel’s…..then requiring the very busy but very err.. professional firemen to help remove the stuck foreign object.
The firemen couldn’t help one of them (I think It’s because he was laughing so hard he couldn’t aim the steel cutter properly) and he needed emergency surgery at a hospital.
Now we always think that Singaporeans are smarter than the Average Malaysian right?
And then We know old people always claim they eat more salt than we eat rice (the cause of hypertension la) right?
Well we must mull over this….
a 77 year old Singaporean
Inserted his thing
Into a 1.5l bottle
to fly kite/ aeroplane
but couldn’t get out
spent 5 hours cutting off the bottle
but d bottleneck remained stuck
so he was in pain
but was too embarrassed to seek treatment
Until a week later
He visited a hospital
but it was too late
Gangrene has set in
and the doctor couldn’t do much
But unfortunately
He didn’t make it as an eunuch
because septicaemia ran it’s course
and the man died 3 days later.
after releasing 5.8 litres of urine
I know it’s rather disrespectful to make fun of the situation
but then… can meehoon think up an obituary for the guy?
Poor guy
philosophy of nonsense March 21, 2009
Posted by meehoon in jokes.Tags: everything, god, jokes, nonsense, nothing, origin, philosophy, universe
4 comments
To write an essay about nonsense is hard. Really really hard.
Because you have to create something from nothing. Like playing GOD. Because some people believe that god created us from this universe (*not world) from nothing. Apparently we know his secret now, BIG BANG only mah!
In conjunction with my friend loongy aka loony’s birthday on 1st of April, in which his brithday tells us that his birth to this universe ( which we should know by now that this universe is actually some nonsense from the creator, God) in a joke too. BUT a good one.
The questions lingering nonsense is especially much. But like what I have explained it earlier, since the creation of this universe is a joke, so everything that stems from it is a joke too. Thus we should establish this:
1) this universe = joke = nonsense
and they also equal to everything in this universe.
2) this universe = joke = nonsense = everything
so everything is nonsense. Nonsense is everything. Everything is nothing too! Why? This is because at first, there is nothing in this errm…i don’t know what to call nothing except Nothing! From nothing, God made this universe.
3) nothing = this universe = nonsense = joke = everything
in the end, we can see that this is a very interesting topic, as we are seeing things in this world as nothing. Everything that we are fighting for are actually nonsense, everything we have now is nothing but a joke.
So when people ask you something or about something ( something is actually part of everything right, so it is nothing also la).
Correction: So when people ask you something nothing or about something nothing, what you can do it,
~ tell them everything (this has a very interesting story)
~ tell them joke
~ tell them nonsense
~ tell them nothing
=)
If you always think that you are so smart, please read further, we all that believe in nonsense teaching, are actually men that know everything. Tricky is it?
If you think that what I wrote here is nonsense, it can be a joke, or it can be nothing BUT please don’t forget it is also everything you need to know in this universe.
3rd yerr~ curtain calls March 9, 2009
Posted by meehoon in reviews, talents.Tags: jokes, hatyai, elective posting, holidays, thailand, drawing
4 comments
HI!! to those people who hates to read what i write…ekek…
well, 3rd year ended officially.
lucky me, was not given some buggerringing groups with faking fakerrs, almost kinda like that people…i am glad…and hopefully, next year will be better…=)
anyway, for those who went to “shuang ler ler” with me, anyone of you still recall how sad kuanyew’s eyes were when he saw a horseshoe crab there? awaiting its fate? (that time i was wondering, how to eat/cook horseshoe crab)
he is this SAD!! (i was still thinking how to eat it)
ky was very sad
#BUT there is this story:
the reason we went there? because there is this “shuang ler ler karaoke”…
then we started singing some songs…
when KY was singing, there came the thunder…(i was laughing inside my heart: “hehe, KY ur singing sucks!! hehe~”…)
BUT when i sang next, it started to rain…(then i say shit, am i that bad??)
NO i am certaily not!!
then IT STARTED TO RAIN HEAVILY!!!…(then i felt like i wanna jump into the river beside the restaurant, #$%^#$%^&!!!!)
f**k~ i dun wanna sing anymore…#
So, this is what happen….once upon a time…
I was dragged by my parents to Hatyai. I don’t like it. So, I didn’t bring any camera there…half expecting it would be a BORINGzzzz trip…BUT I AM WRONG SO I WILL DRAW for u guys and gals out there!!
BUT, it turns out, they have a local friend there, who knows about what/which street at what time got what foods…and she can speak hokkien!! awesome!
i tasted the best pork ribs so far in my life at some gloomy restaurant with a bad/worst singer singer some out-tuned songs. oo, sorry szewern and suyan who brought us to eat pork ribs at sri hartamas there… this one is really awesome!
and going with a local, they will not dare “ka-tukk” (hehe, u think i will translate for u??) the tourists…hehe…as a result, cheap delicious dinner!!
HORSESHOE CRABZ! ok…now I remember…the place is called “lamp post” lolz…outside hatyai, 45mins ride to get to the place. and then ?? Of course 45 mins ride back. Bugger. wasting my time explaining here…ish…
the map we used
Anyway, I never know how to eat horseshoe crabs before, until yeah…DAMN NICE (cannot say that)..
the recipe!!! :-:
okie, they bbq-ed it, then cooked some sauce and then open up its shell, then campurr-adukk-kan the sauce and the eggs!! which are yellow in colour
…and…now it is chocolate in colour, after i BO-ed in a toilet…=p
what horseshoe crab looks like :HELP!
poor bbq-ing horseshoe crab
the horse-cipe
I AM SORRY KUANYEW…I AM SO SO SO SORRY!!
so what I am going to do here is telling you all, IT IS NOT NICE/DELICIOUS AT ALL…
#ps. in white i like it a lot!!#
i heard their blood is blue in colour and they are indeed!!! (* i am sorry, i didn’t see it) cannot confirm it…lolz..
~
ELECTIVE posting…how sad this thing is making some of my lifes…ya…MY life…who care about you out there? hehe..I CARE!!! IF it is about some dirrrrty gossips…WOW! lemme know!! not that i wanna know….but the readers wanna know…so please help them…by TELL me…
anyway, elective posting doing humanitarian jobs, i was dreaming about this, please tell me if i should wake up!?
if the world is fair, i assume it is, as it is my dream. people with kind heart and willing to help other people in needs, at least the girls…they might be fair too! to fit their heart, right?
hrm…will some pretty girl with good heart doing the same elective with me?? who is NOT FROM HUKM??
i wonder…as this is not a fair world, i have a bad bad heart…zzz….
